The Tale of Stalky the Snowman

So, I never got around to sharing this last winter, but it was too good not to post.  In honor of our rapidly warming winter, I want to tell you all the tale of "Stalky The Snowman."

When Millie was two years old, she loved snowmen.  The teachers at her school planned a whole unit around them, where the children sang songs about Frosty, and embarked on a global postcard writing campaign with their lovable friend, Olaf.

That's why, last winter she insisted on building a snowman on our back porch.  She wanted to build him right outside the window, you know-- so she could stare at him all the time, even from inside her warm house. Millie named him "Frosty the Snowman."  Sean and I named him "Stalky."

Here is Stalky the Snowman, attending Millie's birthday party.

Now, as you may remember, last winter was particularly cold.  Months went by, and Stalky melted, and refroze, on our porch. He melted.  He refroze.  He melted again. He REFROZE AGAIN.  Each time, he got creepier and creepier, looking more and more like the melting Nazi's in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Daily, he stared inquisitively into our warm house.  

 I call this picture, "Stalky's Last Stand."

Finally, one fateful day in March, Stalky melted for good. I'll never know what exactly became of Stalky.* Like Frosty, did he have to hurry home that day?  If so, what was he getting from his house? Should we be worried? Will he, as the song tells "be back again some day?" God. I hope not.  RIP Stalky. You were the worst.

*unless I read a basic 3rd grade science book. 

 

RIP Stalky.  We will all remember today as the day you melted, and Cricket ate your nose.