Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Millie's Birthday Time Capsule!

Today we celebrated Millie's first birthday.  That's right, Millie is ONE.  I was racking my brain trying to decide what AWESOME gift we could get her, when I realized that she won't remember it anyways.  So, if she ever asks you about it, please tell her that for her first birthday we got her a pony but it already died.

*The pony's name was Thunder, and it had a rainbow mane.
** No young lady! Of course you can't have another pony! Not after you let the first one die!

I know I'll always remember today-- the way we woke Millie up by singing "Happy Birthday" as she bounced in her crib, how it felt to watch her open her first birthday present, and the surgical precision in which she disemboweled her birthday cake----but I'm worried that Millie will forget all about this time of her life.  That's why, for her birthday I've decided to make her this time capsule, to remind her of all the most important things in her life at year one.

Dear Millie,

Happy birthday little one!  If you're reading this time capsule, you are probably already really mad at me, because you have found this blog.*
*Just kidding, you can't stay mad at me!I bought you a pony!
Anyways, here is a sample of a few of the most important things in your life at age one: 

#1: Kingsley Snuggle Bear

You may not remember him now, but he used to be pretty much the center of your universe. He went to bed with you every night, and protected you from all the dangers of the world, such as homemade peach baby food and non-xylophone based musical expression.  

#2: Cup

Did you know that you could say "cup" when you were 8 months old?  It's true. Say it with me now. "Cup." Feel good? There was a time in your life when you had no greater thrill than to say "cup" repeatedly.  Every morning when you would wake up, you would look at me urgently and yell "CUP!" to me until we walked into the living room and found your cup. 

3#: The Television Remote

Oh what wonders lie within this magical device? What secrets will you unlock? What treasures will you seek? With what courage and fortitude will you display SUBTITLES. Millie, there was a time in which you could operate a television remote with such alarming dexterity that all but the most sophisticated technophile was POWERLESS TO STOP YOU. 

*note to self- The next time Millie is bored, take her to best buy and let her wreak havoc on the AV salesmen. 
** other note to self- while I am there, ask them to show me how to make these subtitles stop displaying. 

# 4:Bedtime Songs

When you were young Millie, I would sing you to sleep every night. I would cradle you in my arms and sing "swing low" and "edelweiss" and "plastic Jesus" to you until you shut your tiny, exhausted eyes. Then, I would creep into the other room and write snarky blog posts and drink wine, because even mommies need a break sometimes. And by "break" I mean "drink." 


This is the title of a book that you used to really love.  "ROAR ROAR" was not much of a verbal masterpiece, but it did have some pretty sweet photos of tigers, bears, and a creepy little panda cub with a fury crotch. Every day you would beg for us to read ROAR ROAR, and then you would snatch the book out of our hands and throw it across the room shouting "ROAR ROAR!"  You are awesome.

*more fury than a normal Panda crotch I mean.
** let me explain. Here is the photo of the panda crotch I'm talking about. 

It will be 15 years until you read this Millie, and by then *fingers crossed* you'll have learned not to pet panda crotches, and you probably won't let me sing you to sleep anymore. We'll probably still be fighting over the remote, but at least you'll be able to retrieve your own cup.  

Little one, I want you to know that no matter how many birthdays you have, I'll always be here with you, delighting in the things you love, and loving them because they are important to you (except your boyfriends, I will hate those guys.) I also want to make sure that you never ever forget THUNDER, your awesome childhood pony.  There's no need to thank us Millie, that's just the kind of parents we are. Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

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