Happy Halloween Everyone!
Today I celebrated Halloween by doing the scariest thing I could think of--- cleaning out the disgusting thing in my refrigerator. Don't pretend like you don't have a disgusting thing in your refrigerator. I'm pretty sure everyone has one-- lurking in the crisper and waiting for one of your neighbors to unexpectedly stop by and need to keep their lettuce cool. I live in fear of someone casually dropping in on me and my refrigerator and seeing my disgusting thing, whatever it may be at the time.
This morning, it seemed fitting with the holiday to face my fears and clean out my current disgusting thing, which used to be a cucumber. It was so old and moldy that is was only vaguely still recognizable as a cucumber, and if I had to put a date on it, I'd place its time of purchase sometime during the Nixon Administration. This cucumber was so old, that if it had been married to Newt Gingrich, he would have left it for a younger woman by now. If this cucumber were an NFL quarterback, then its team would have replaced it with a young, promising draft pick only to have it become a free agent and smash all sorts of records with the Denver Broncos. At any rate, it was definitely the oldest and wisest member of my refrigerator community, and it was difficult to part with it-- mostly because it was oozing all over my crisper.
I considered putting the remnants of the disgusting thing on my front stoop to scare trick-or-treaters, but I decided it wouldn't fit with my Halloween theme this year, which is "unspeakable cuteness." That's because Millie is going as the Lorax.
Here is a peek at the costume I made for her!
You can find the knitting pattern for this hat here.
I also made Sean a Once-ler costume:
Now that I think of it, there are a lot of similarities between the character of the Once-ler and the disgusting cucumber from my fridge. Both represent overconsumption and waste, both were lurking in a tall, industrial tower, and both are definitely old and green. The main differences that I see are that my cucumber is probably not as fast at knitting Thneeds as the Once-ler was, and it's unlikely to inspire any bad-assed cautionary tales of industrialism.
Right now my little baby Lorax is napping in her room-- soon to awake for her first ever Halloween experience. I hope lots of trick or treaters are planning on stopping by our place tonight, because I've got tons of candy for them. Parents-- feel free to bring by some healthy snacks if you want me to hand those out as well. I've got plenty of room in my crisper and for once it's totally clean.