Dammit Bill.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Can someone explain to me why my neighbor Bill's house looks exactly like a Williams-Sonoma Catalog?

Seriously Bill, is this your dining room, or the enchanted ceiling at Hogwarts?

Oh for Christ sake, Bill.

BILL. We get it. We are bad at Christmas. Geez...

Mariah Carey Crushes the Competition in Seasonal Holiday Sing-a-thon

The other night Sean and I got into the holiday spirit by watching some seasonal holiday television programming.  It was vile.  Specifically, the Christmas special we watched on PBS was totally vile.  I don't know what it was-- maybe it was the four blonde chicks wearing what appeared to be wedding dresses-- maybe it was the celtic fiddles they were playing, or maybe it was the yuletide themed penny-whistle.  Ok, probably it was the penny-whistle. (The more I think of it, it was definitely the penny-whistle.) At any rate, it was ghastly, and we thankfully changed the channel and watched Mariah Carey instead.

I don't care who you are, Mariah Carey is GOOD. Every other time of year, she may be just a former pop star, but whenever christmas rolls around she instantly becomes MARIAH CAREY, ULTIMATE DIVA AND OWNER OF SEQUIN STRAPLESS DRESSES. That's because Mariah performs "All I want for Christmas," and if you think anybody does it better than her you're wrong.  

Is there any other song that you would choose for the romantic airport montage in Love Actually?  I didn't think so.  Are there any other singers in that christmas tele-thon you are watching that can sing so high only dogs can hear her?  NO.  That's the kind of competition Mariah Carey brings each year, and season after holiday season MARIAH CAREY CRUSHES IT. 

Mariah Carey can sing so high, that she could be shit talking Justin Bieber backstage in a whole different OCTAVE and only his dog would know about it.

In fact, I wish Mariah Carey would come to our house right now and sing a song for The Cricket.  When I opened up the door and saw it was her, I'd probably get all excited and ask her to sing "All I want for Christmas," But she'd just be all like, " Think again sucker! I'm just here to sing to your dog!"

HAHA!  If I were Mariah Carey I would do shit like that ALL THE TIME. 

So, Mariah Carey, if you're reading this, I want you to know that you always have an open invitation to come to Sean and Katie's Place to perform for the humans and non-humans alike.  But, if you're too busy TOTALLY CRUSHING THE COMPETITION at holidays sing-a-thons, we understand.  If you get time, can you head over to PBS though? There are some blonde ladies over there with a penny-whistle that need to be put in their place.